Summer break

The great benefit about being a teacher is that I get a summer break. Now granted, my summer break this summer isn't as long as last summer because we got out later this year, but hey, two solid months of doing nothing isn't something to complain about.

I've been out of school since June 5th and yesterday June 18th I was already thinking about school. Pathetic huh? Is teaching such my calling that I think about it all the time (not all the time really, because that would drive me insane........well, more so than I already am)? I mean seriously I'm out of school for thirteen whole days and I'm already thinking about what novels I'm going to teach and what I'm going to do when I go on maternity leave and can't control every aspect of my classroom. Yikes! I don't even want to think about it. Yes, I'm a bit of a control freak and neat freak. I like the way I do things and I think everyone should do it my way. I'm just experienced is all. There I was staring off into space thinking about what novel I should have my substitute teach (when I'm on maternity leave for a minimum of six weeks) and I freak out and think...........There is no way in hell I'm letting a substitute teach something like Of Mice and Men........I mean who is going to do all the voices like I do. He/She won't know how Lennie is supposed to sound. Maybe I can start with Julius Caesar. Never really liked Caesar anyway.......and that is just for my Sophomores. Don't get me started on my Juniors. Is a substitute capable of teaching The Crucible?

I know I should just not care about things like that and that I should just relax and let whatever is going to happen happen, but here I am on my summer break which I've longed for since Christmas break, thinking about school. Blast!


Another thing to add about summer break........

I feel worthless. Probably because I have become worthless since June 5th, but I seriously feel worthless..........I have no purpose in life. There is nothing stopping me from sleeping til noon everyday and watching food network, tlc, and lmn all day long (at least til my husband gets home). I feel so lost. I have all this time on my hands and nothing really to do with it. Since we are expecting our first, I have been cleaning out closets and re-organizing things in our house to make room for baby, but the list of things to do isn't that long, and in my head I have all the time in the world. When I was working I actually had things to accomplish after school. Now I have nothing to accomplish. I contemplated getting a summer job, but then reminded myself that I'm six months pregnant and I want to enjoy this peace and quiet for as long as I can because I probably will never feel this way again after the baby gets here. When that happens there won't be enough time in the world for me to get done all the things that need to be done.