almost over

not summer, but my pregnancy. it has gone by really quickly. I'm officially about a month away from my due date, so in my mind it could happen any time between now and then. I'm hoping to make it to at least Aug 18th (start of school for teachers anyway). Nothing fits anymore. I can't really get away with wearing tank tops and shorts to school, unfortunately, so that means I'll have to go get some new clothes for like three weeks of being pregnant. It is becoming more and more difficult to shave my legs and I can't even think about painting my toenails.........its hard enough to see my toes let alone get down to them. the only shoes that are comfortable are flip flops. if i'm on my feet too much they swell up to the size of a cantalope (each one) and I have cankles. heartburn is a new word to me. i never had it before i was pregnant, but now i'm surprised if i don't have it when i go to bed. tums is one of my new best friends. my ass has grown exponentially. i've started to do the pregnant waddle. i spend more time in the bathroom than in any other room in our house.........not even the kitchen. i make sure that there is plenty of room between me and the table when we sit in booths at restaurants. i've begun to crave anything that contains alcohol...........even a straight shot of tequila. those horribly mean people that drink around me should have a one way ticket to hell for that kind of torture. i used to not mind it so much, but now after eight months of being alcohol free, i'm ready for some damn alcohol. breathing has become more difficult also. i'd rather not take the stairs because i don't want to huff and puff when i get to the top. and to think people call this a miracle and a special time in your life and some even go so far as to say that you're at your most beautiful when you're 'with child'. ha! forty pounds ago i was a lot more beautiful. i didn't have this thick, coarse hair and all these pimples from lovely hormones either. its a wonder that people have more than one child!